


when you look in the mirror (do you see yourself)

by xXNayNay19Xx



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Bisexual Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, double the identity reveal, genderfluid kara danvers, nonbinary vasquez
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 03:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19881016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXNayNay19Xx/pseuds/xXNayNay19Xx
Summary: “Is this about the magazine? If so, Kara, that was written by some sexist asshole who thinks women need to be in the kitchen, wearing dresses and high heels day in and day out, and do nothing but serve their husbands. It’s old-fashioned, and frankly the stupidest thing I’ve seen about Supergirl.” She turned to face Kara completely, needing her to see how serious she was about this. “Kara, you fight crime. You fly, and jump, and roll around on the ground to catch bad guys. Pants are the most practical thing you could wear, and I’m honestly shocked we haven’t made the switch sooner.”A magazine article criticizing Kara's recent change to pants leads to some confessions.aka Genderfluid Kara (Karter) gets to be themselves and useless bisexual Lena Luthor is thirstier than normal.





	when you look in the mirror (do you see yourself)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! A couple of things before we get to the story: I am basing Kara's coming out on my own experiences. I know others may not have the same experience, but know that you are valid. If anybody needs to talk, I am here.
> 
> Title from Identity by X-Ray Spex.

_Supergirl’s New Look: Practical or Boring?_

_Pants or Skirt, Which Supergirl Are You? Take the quiz to find out!_

_Feminism Today: Why Supergirl’s Switch to Pants Matters_

_Supergirl’s Sins: What the Bible Says About Her New Look_

Alex scoffed as she read the headline of “Christian Monthly” and rolled her eyes as she turned to face her sister.

“What kind of outdated, sexist bullshit is that?” she asked, face showing her disbelief and annoyance. “Women can’t wear pants now? Is it the 1900s? Fuck that misogyny.” One look at Kara told Alex she was feeling self-conscious about herself now, and Alex felt her anger grow. “Come on, let’s check out and get home to start sister night. Potstickers, pizza, and junk food are calling my name!”

As Kara finished putting their items on the conveyor belt, Alex could tell something was wrong. Making a note to bring it up in the privacy of Kara’s apartment, rather than the checkout line of the grocery store, she tried her best to lift Kara’s spirits until then.

“I know it’s my turn, but I’m feeling pretty indecisive today. Why don’t you pick the first movie?” she asked, as nonchalantly as possible. Her plan worked for a moment, as a small smile appeared on Kara’s face and she lifted her hand to Alex’s forehead as if to check for a fever.

“Are you sick? Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” Kara teased, knowing how much Alex hated the nights when it was Kara’s turn to pick the movie. “But no takebacks, I’m picking She’s the Man.”

Alex rolled her eyes with a smile; Kara was still down about something but at least she was still making jokes. They finished checking out, and before long were settling into Kara’s couch with pizza boxes, potstickers, and various forms of junk food piled on the coffee table. Alex had a beer in hand, while Kara had a 2 liter of soda in front of her. It was quiet while they ate, the only sounds coming from the TV and the soft laughter as they watched Amanda Bynes get herself out of silly predicaments.

It wasn’t until after she finished eating, and was starting on her second beer, that Alex really noticed Kara’s fidgeting. She grabbed the remote and paused the movie, deciding this couldn’t wait any longer. She hated seeing her sister like this. When Kara didn’t comment on the movie being paused, Alex looked over at her to see she was still staring at the screen, as if she didn’t even notice. Placing a hand on Kara’s knee, she finally broke her out of her daze.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, scooting closer to Kara so they could have a more comfortable conversation.

“Nothing, Alex, I’m just tired is all.” Was the reply she got, voice flat and unconvincing.

“Bullshit, Kara. Not only am I your sister who knows you better than anyone, you aren’t even watching the movie, your fidgeting is shaking the couch, and there is still an entire order of potstickers untouched. Spill.” She gave Kara her signature eyebrow raise and waited patiently for the response.

“I just…I don’t know. It’s stupid.”

“Is this about the magazine? If so, Kara, that was written by some sexist asshole who thinks women need to be in the kitchen, wearing dresses and high heels day in and day out, and do nothing but serve their husbands. It’s old-fashioned, and frankly the stupidest thing I’ve seen about Supergirl.” She turned to face Kara completely, needing her to see how serious she was about this. “Kara, you fight crime. You fly, and jump, and roll around on the ground to catch bad guys. Pants are the most practical thing you could wear, and I’m honestly shocked we haven’t made the switch sooner.”

“I know. I do, know that they’re practical. But the magazine is only part of it. I want to talk to you about something, but I don’t know how you’re going to react and I’m terrified.” The sentence came in such a small voice, it made Alex’s heart break.

“Kara, you’re my sister. You can tell me anything, you know that right?” Kara nodded her head. “Whatever it is, I’m here. I love you, and nothing can stop that, okay?” She grabbed Kara’s hand for support, and frankly because the fidgeting was going to drive her up the wall.

“Okay, um, here goes.” Kara dropped Alex’s hand and stood up to pace in front of the TV. “Practicality wasn’t the only reason I had Winn make me the pants. I mean, yeah, it makes so much sense given what I do, and how we ever started with a skirt I’ll never know. That should’ve never gotten past the design phase.”

“You’re rambling.”

“Sorry. Anyways, that wasn’t the only reason I went to him. I’ve been figuring some stuff out about myself lately, and I think I’m finally ready to be open about it. I didn’t want to keep this from you, I promise, I just didn’t know how you were going to react. And I didn’t really have a name for what I was feeling until recently.” By now she was pacing and wringing her hands together, visibly nervous to have this conversation.

“Kara, take a deep breath. It’s just us, the Danvers Sisters. It’s going to be okay; I promise.” When Alex spoke those words, she could see Kara visibly recoil. She furrowed her brows, trying to follow Kara’s words and movement.

“Okay, I promise I’m getting there. This is harder than I thought it would be.” She was avoiding Alex’s gaze, taking another deep breath before starting again. “The skirt was fine, most of the time. It was cute even, which makes no sense for a superhero, but I’m not going into that again. But sometimes, the thought of having to put on the skirt made me sick to my stomach. At first, I thought it was because I needed a break from Supergirl duties. But that wasn’t it, I still wanted to go out and save people, I just didn’t want to be wearing my outfit while I was doing it. It was like, on those days, I couldn’t be myself in that skirt. Like I was pretending to be someone or something I’m not. And not in the ‘I’m Kara Danvers pretending to be Supergirl kind of way’, either. It was more than just the skirt, though. Having my hair down was torture, still is some days. Putting on my bra in the morning, and seeing my chest felt wrong. Everything felt wrong. So, I started doing some research, and I found out that I’m not the only one who feels this way.” With that, she stopped pacing and looked at Alex. “Alex, I’m genderfluid.” Her voice cracked as she said the words, and in seconds she had tears running down her face.

Alex stood immediately and made her way to Kara, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close. “Shh, honey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” Rubbing her hands up and down Kara’s back, Alex could feel her own eyes start to water. “You are valid, how you feel is valid, and I love you.” With those words, she felt Kara exhale in relief and start to pull out of the hug.

“You still love me? You’re not mad?” Kara asked, equal parts relief and fear in her eyes.

“I’m not mad. I wish I’d been able to help ease your worry, but I’m not mad. And of course I love you, you’re my s...” Alex paused, the familiar term dying on her lips. “Oh my god, that’s why you looked so distraught when I said Danvers Sisters. Kara, I am so sorry. I would never have said that if I knew if would make you feel that way.” Realization took over her features, followed by guilt.

“No. Don’t feel bad, you couldn’t have known. It wasn’t you saying it that made me feel bad, it was the thought that I am taking that away from you. We’ve been the Danvers Sisters for so long, and now I’m taking that bond away.” Kara lowered her gaze, feeling the tears start up again. She moved to sit on the couch, Alex following closely behind.

“You aren’t taking anything away. Our bond will always be stronger than anything, whether you feel like my sister, my brother, or anything in between. From now on, we’ll be the Danvers Siblings, Stronger Together. Forever, I promise. I love you. Your gender doesn’t define who you are, and who you are is the most important person to me. Understood?” She lifted Kara’s chin, meeting her gaze to convey her seriousness.

The tears were rolling down Kara’s face again, but this time they were tears of relief and joy. “I can’t tell you how much that means to hear you say that. You’re the best sister I could’ve ever asked for.”

“I’ve got you, always. Now, do you want to talk some more? What can I do to help you feel comfortable? Pronouns? Name? Clothes?”

“I’ve thought about some of this, but it’s been a little overwhelming. Like I was saying, sometimes I’m comfortable as myself, as Kara, but sometimes I’m not. So I think maybe she/her is still okay most of the time. But maybe we can find a system where I can let you know if I need something else? And I’m still Kara, when I’m comfortable being a girl. But when I’m feeling male, I like the name Karter. That way you can still call me Kar and not raise suspicions, at least until I come out to more people.”

“We can do that. Whatever you need from me, I’m here. How about this: you text me when you get up and let me know how you’re feeling that day.” Alex felt her determination rising, she would do whatever it took to make Kara comfortable in her body and in her life.

With the relief of her admission out of the way, Kara felt laughter bubbling up in her chest. Soon, she was giggling, and then that turned into full blown shoulder-shaking laughter. She looked up to see Alex staring at her with an eyebrow raised, and it made her laugh even harder. Pointing at the TV, she doubled over with laughter. Alex looked over, only to remember what movie they started the night with and joined in the laughter. “Kara, oh my god. That was the least subtle movie choice in the world!” Alex was cracking up now.

Laughter subsiding, Alex reached for the remote to restart the movie. Looking to her right, she saw that Kara was actually paying attention to the movie this time, enjoying the lightness and humor of the plotline. She smiled and settled in with her beer to enjoy the rest of sibling night.

As the movie came to a close, Alex heard Kara mumble something too soft to make out.

“What was that?” she asked, turning once again to face sideways.

“I think I want to cut my hair. Something that can be both feminine and masculine, depending on the day.” She looked contemplative, like this was something that had been considered for a long time. “But I don’t know how to do that without being obvious that I am Supergirl. I mean, it would be kind of suspicious if I show up with the same haircut as Supergirl, on the same day.”

Alex nodded and hummed in thought, “Well, most of the people you see daily know. What if you take a couple of weeks off from work, lay low, and when you come back say that Supergirl and the sweltering summer heat inspired your new look.”

“That could work. I’ll still have my glasses, and maybe I can figure out a way to quickly switch the style when I go out on Supergirl duty.” Kara nodded her head in determination. “I’ll text James right now and tell him I need to take some personal leave. Besides, this will help me get used to things and maybe drag you shopping?” Kara’s eyes settled on Alex hopefully, adding a small pout to increase her chances of convincing her sister.

“I guess” Alex agreed teasingly. “Of course I’ll go shopping with you. We’ll get you clothes that you’re comfortable in. Oh! You know who has been cutting my hair? Vasquez! I bet they’ll be totally down to cut yours too! They might also have some tips for you too, you know I’ve heard some stuff around the center, but I know they bind and pass a lot more as masculine.”

“That’s such a good idea! Thanks, Alex. I really appreciate your support.” Kara was visibly excited as she pulled out her phone to text James.

_Kara: Hey James, would you be cool with me taking some personal time?_

_James: Sure, is everything okay?_

_Kara: Yeah, just figuring some stuff out. Need a few days to myself._

_James: Okay, I’m here if you need to talk. Let me know when you’re ready to come back._

_Kara: Thanks, James. See you later._

She tossed her phone on the couch and turned back to Alex. “James is cool with me taking some time off. Hey Alex?” She waited for a hum in response. “I think I need to talk to Lena before I get my hair cut. The glasses and ponytail might have fooled her, but she’s suspicious enough that if I show up with hair like Supergirl she’s going to figure it out. I want to talk to her and tell her before she finds out another way. I’ve been putting it off for far too long. I know you don’t agree, but she’s my friend Alex. She deserves to know.”

Alex raised her hand to keep Kara from going on. “Kara, it’s your choice. I know I’ve had my issues with Lena in the past, but she’s proven herself in my eyes. If you feel like you need to tell her, go ahead. But she’s not going to get out of signing an NDA.”

At that, Kara rolled her eyes and chuckled. “I’m sure Pam already has one drafted. I’ll meet up with Lena this weekend and tell her. Hopefully I’ll still have her as a friend come Monday.” With a rueful smile, she picked up the remote and started the next movie.

_Kara: Hey, do you want to come over for brunch on Sunday? I have something I want to talk to you about._

_Lena: I’m sure I can make time, darling. How does 10 sound?_

_Kara: Perfect. I’ll order the usual. See you then <3 _

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note about pronouns used in this chapter - I stuck with she/her as Alex didn't know in the beginning of the chapter, and Kara made it clear that she/her was okay most days. As the story goes on, pronouns will change and adjust based on the gender in that timeframe. I'll make it as clear as possible to avoid confusion, but I also want to show how it can be (in my own personal experience) being genderfluid and navigating things such as names and pronouns. Thanks for reading, comments and kudos are always appreciated!


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